Never Again
by Cracklingllamas
Summary: SPOILER ALERT! for 3x24. Kate Beckett's death is faked to keep her safe. No one can know- not even those closest to her.
1. Chapter 1

_**SPOILER ALERT! (duh…)**_

_**AAHHHH SQUEEEELLL SOBB NOOOO SQUEEEEL! O.o I just..still can't comprehend what happened last night…**_

_**Disclaimer-would I have spent all day having sudden panic attacks in school all day if I owned this and knew I was in control of what happened…..? ..noo…**_

_**Well, here we go I suppose… :)**_

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

A woman in the far corner of the hospital waiting room sat with a box of tissues, silent tears running down her face. Castle vaguely wondered what her story was. The thought, however, was fleeting. He tried desperately to keep a strain of thoughts going…going anywhere other than where they all seemed to be going instead. But, of course, once again the image of Kate's wide, terrified eyes, as she slipped into unconsciousness in his arms, assaulted his mind. A shudder wracked his body, and he once again felt the prickling in his eyes. A quick glance at the rest of the group assured him that he wasn't alone. Lanie sat curled into Esposito's side, head hidden in neck, as her body trembled. Ryan sat beside them, his head in his hands. Jim Beckett was on the far end of the room, leaning against the wall and staring blankly out into space.

Meanwhile, a team of doctors had just finished working feverishly on Kate Beckett's unmoving body. Red stained towels were heaped in a pile on the supply tray. The doctors, with a sigh, retreated from the room, peeling their gloves from their hands, and wiping the sweat from their foreheads. The head doctor stepped from the room, rounding the corner with the intentions of letting the already distraught group in on the news. Just before he exited the doors leading to the door, however, a steady hand on his shoulder stopped him in his tracks. Three men stood in front of him, serious-almost morbid-expressions gracing their faces. They led him into an unoccupied room, where they proceeded to lock doors, cover windows, and check over all possible places for a security camera to be hidden.

"May I ask what this is about?" The doctor asked them, suspicion, laced his curiosity, in his voice.

"You are the doctor of Detective Beckett?" One of the men asked. When the doctor confirmed it, he continued "Is she still alive?"

"That is confidential information, and I'm afraid I cannot-" He was cut short by a flash of a badge. Seeing the FBI emblem on it, the doctor barely caught the man's statement,

"I don't think confidentiality will be an issue."

The doctor nodded, then, after clearing his throat, said, "At the moment, she is. Although in critical condition, we believe that with her good health, she'll pull through and make a full recovery." The doctor gave them a questioning look, "Is there something we need to be worried about?"

"There should be no immediate danger, but we need to act quickly,"

"Detective Beckett's life could be in danger. The only way we can ensure her safety is to convince any of her friends and family out in the waiting room right now that she didn't pull through."

"We can't do that," The doctor told them with a shake of his head, "Not only is it against policy, but it's horribly morally absurd."

"That may be true," The mysterious man stated, "But as of now, it's a matter of life or death. And, if you don't mind, you need to tell the group now. The sooner the news can be spread, the better." With that, all three men swept out the room, leaving the doctor thoroughly confused.

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

"How is she?" Castle asked, almost the moment the doctor was out the door. Jim walked across the room, somewhat shakily, to hear the news. Both Ryan and Castle got to their feet. Lanie turned from Esposito, but still stayed close to his side.

"I'm extremely sorry to say that between the blood loss and the damage done by the placement of the bullet, Detective Beckett didn't make it."

Lanie let out a sob while Esposito held her. Jim fell limply into the chair under him. Ryan turned from the doctor and went to the back of the room where he braced himself with the wall. Castle, wordlessly, swept from the room. Once in the hallway hidden from his friends, he collapsed to the floor, leaning back against the wall and dropping his head into his hands.

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

Through the walls, invisible to the grieving group, 3 men wheeled the hospital bed holding the unconscious Kate Beckett from her operating room. Her IV's had been momentarily unplugged, a thin white sheet drawn over her face, as the men wheeled her down the elevator. To those uninformed, it would appear that it was only a body being taken to the morgue. In reality, the men were wheeling her to their waiting van in the parking garage, as equipped as any ambulance would be. There, she was reattached to her supports, and taken away. Unaware that everyone she cared about was currently being let in on the news that she had just passed.

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

_**Soo…this is somewhat short. Sorry. :) But, I have habits of updating quickly..so NO FEARS! ..unless I get ungodly amounts of homework..or something. Let's expect an update tomorrow, or Thursday at the latest. **_

_**And, I would really appreciate any reviews anybody could spare. It would motivate me greatly :D aanndd make me love you forever.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Oh. My. God. I honestly started shaking this morning when I opened my email to over 80 new emails of story alerts, favoriting, reviews... Holy crap. You guys are all so freakin amazing. :D**_

_**Now…..onto the show**_

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

The only sound in the room was the steady beep coming from the machine hooked up to Beckett. A lamp in the corner of the room provided the only source of light, due to the heavy curtains covering the sole window on the wall.

Beckett stirred. One arm shifted, and her eyes slowly cracked open. She first noticed was how sore her body was. It seemed as though everything ached, inside and out, and she immediately wanted nothing more than to sleep again. As her vision cleared, however, she was able to take in her surroundings. Her body tensed, causing her discomfort, as she realized that this was no ordinary hospital room. Throughout her career, she'd spent more than enough time in hospital rooms…and this wasn't one. This seemed as though it was just a bedroom, although highly equipped with medical equipment.

Her thoughts flickered as she tried to understand what had happened. Images flashed through her brain. The funeral, the gunshot, Castle.

Castle.

It seemed as though her mind froze as she recalled the last words he spoke to her. No… it couldn't be. She must've imagined it. But, then again… the look in his eyes before she closed hers….

Taking a deep breath, she tried to control her thoughts. The beeping monitor increased with her heartbeat, and she didn't want to draw any attention to the fact that she was awake until she could figure out where she was.

At that moment, a woman, carrying a clipboard, walked into the room. Her eyes flickered upwards, and she did a double take when she saw Beckett's eyes focused on her.

"Oh, gracious, you're already awake. Just hold on one second-" The woman said, scurrying out of the room. A moment later, a man walked into the room.

"Where am I?" Beckett asked him, internally cringing at the way her voice rasped. The man did not respond, however, until he was sitting in the chair beside her bed.

"My name is Drew Taylor. I'm with the FBI." He pulled out his badge and showed it to her. Eyeing it suspiciously, she only narrowed her eyes at him, and he continued, "As you're well aware, the conspiracy behind your mother's death has been extremely active as of lately. At Roy Montgomery's funeral, a professional hit man had been hired to kill you. He was caught. But, unfortunately, did not talk.

"We know for a fact that if were to be let out that you survived the attempted murder, they'd be after you again."

"I already know all of this." Beckett told him with a sigh, "What does it have to do with why I'm…wherever it is I am."

"For your own safety, it is currently everyone's current belief, outside of those of us in this building and a small group of doctors, that you died in the operating room the day you were shot."

"You faked my death?" She asked incredulously.

"It's for your own safety." He repeated.

She stared blankly ahead. Then, with a sigh, said, "We have to tell some people. My dad… and my team at the precinct. They have to know."

"No one can know. If even just one person knew the truth, word could get out."

"The hell it would! I'm only talking about five people. Five people who I trust completely. It wouldn't get out."

"Detective Beckett," The man said sternly, "The bureau has a team working diligently to end this as fast as possible. As soon as it is over, we can let everyone know, and it will be over. But, as of now-"

"No. I can't do that to them."

"You can." He told her, "And, I'm sure you know as well as I do that when this has all passed, they'll all be relieved we took these precautions instead of keeping you out in the line of fire.

"Now, if you don't have any other questions, I need to go speak with the others and tell them that you've been briefed. I'll send in our nurse to check you over."

He left the room, leaving the door cracked. The woman with the clipboard from before came in again. She looked nervous, and avoided eye contact with Beckett as she checked everything on her.

"What's your name?" Beckett asked her softly.

"Sharon Lloyd. I'm a certified nurse that works with the FBI on occasion. I was on the team of doctors that worked on you when you first entered the hospital." She looked at Beckett quickly, flashing her a quick smile, then went back to her work.

"Nurse Lloyd…" Beckett started cautiously, "Please. Let me make just one phone call. I swear to you, this person will be able to keep the secret. I just…he needs to know I'm ok."

The nurse paused her actions, and her head drooped sadly, "I understand how hard this must be for you. But, you have to understand, it's for your own good." She placed a hand over Becketts, "Just hang in there. I've been in contact with the group trying to figure this all out, and they're making impressive progress. I honestly believe you'll be out of here quickly. And, please, call me Sharon."

She gave one last friendly smile to Beckett, then left the room.

With a groan, Beckett reached up to her neck. Her mother's ring wasn't there. She glanced around the room, and saw none of her possessions. Of course, they would've kept them at the hospital…she should've expected that. And, since she was "dead", they'd have no use to keep them with her body.

Now, however, in this bland room, and without anything, she felt more alone as she had in years.

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

_**Goodness. I just want to thank you all again for reading :) Andd, just in case you weren't already aware, reviews are like a fastforward button on the writers mind…ideas come quicker, which lead to faster writing, and faster updates. Sooo….even if it's just like 2 words… :D**_

_**:) **_


	3. Chapter 3

_**:') you all are seriously freakin amazing :) If only you all could see how freakishly giddy and excited I get when I open my email freakish amounts of feedback for this story… :D**_

_**Ahhh I'm so happy. :) The beginning of this chapter is a bit depressing…so be warned. I figured I logically had to have at least one saddish part of this…or…well it just wouldn't make sense. The second part is better though…I promise. Quite exciting (I think), actually :)**_

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

It had been three days. Three days since he last slept. Three days since he'd last had a real meal…and kept it down. Three days since he'd said what he'd held in so long to the woman he loved. Three days since his world crashed around him.

He knew his family was worried. They'd send him looks of pity and worry as they passed by his office, where he sat staring blankly at the empty computer screen. They'd bribe him with his favorite foods to actually get something in his stomach.

He really was trying. It was killing him to see his mother so worried, his little girl so distraught. But, try as he may, he couldn't keep his head up. His thoughts and feelings seemed to be being dragged along the ground behind him as he forced himself to go through the motions of life.

And, quite honestly, he wasn't sure the wounds from all the dragging would ever heal.

Mr. Beckett had called him on the fourth day. He told him that he had finally made the decision to have her cremated. Also, he asked him for a favor- to go to her house and pick up a few items he wanted for the funeral.

Once in the apartment, he broke down. Not just the few tears and shuddering breaths he'd already experienced on multiple cases, but completely broke. Everything was so normal. Dirty dishes still sitting by the sink, clothes thrown messily in the hamper, bed messy and unmade. Her mother's murder board sat open, seeming to cast a surreal gloom over the whole place. Between all the presence of her, and the fact that he was finally actually _alone_, he finally allowed himself to break.

Her funeral was two days after. It was small. Her father, their precinct family, his mother and Alexis, and a just few people he didn't recognize. Her cremated body sat in a simple, yet beautiful, urn on a table beside a collage of pictures of her from over the years. While looking at the pictures, he managed to crack a smile for the first time in 6 days.

That smile wasn't the last, but within the next weeks, it would be the only true one that gave even a bit of relief to his aching heart.

...ooo…ooo…ooo…

"You're funeral was today." The nurse Sharon told Beckett. She had taken the position of messenger of news from the outside to Beckett.

"How'd you manage that one?" Beckett asked her with a scoff. Every day, she noticed some of the ache in her body fading. She was able to shift positions a little more easily, and Sharon had told her that if all went well, she'd probably be able to try getting out of the bed before the end of the week.

"Your father decided to have you cremated, thank heavens. And, of course, there's no way to tell if a person is or isn't actually that person once in ashes, so…"

Beckett sighed, "This is so wrong…"

"I completely agree," Sharon said with a nod, "But you just have to remember, this isn't real, and will be over soon."

After Sharon left, Beckett was once again left alone. With her boredom at its peak, she reached over to the table beside her, grabbing one of the Derek Storm novels she'd asked Sharon to bring for her. Just after she read the first few sentences, however, she ended up shutting the book. Reading his words just made her miss him more. Flipping the book over, she looked down at his smiling face on the back cover. If only she could just talk to him….

At that moment, outside of the room, a door slammed. Beckett figured it was just one of the men coming in or leaving, and didn't think much of it. The silence following, however, was eerie. Typically, she could hear Sharon moving about outside of the room, or the team of agent's mumbled voices from wherever it was in the house they were working.

Almost instantaneously, multiple gunshots rang through the house, and Sharon burst through the door, her eyes wide and fearful.

"What's going on?" Beckett exclaimed. Sharon placed a finger to her lips to silence Beckett. She then proceeded to hurriedly unhook all of the IVs and such connected to her.

"Come on, we need to get out of here. Now." Sharon whispered quietly and urgently. She went to the opposite side of the bed, opening the window on the wall and removing the screen. She returned to Beckett's bedside and assisted her in clambering out of the bed and making their way over to the window.

"Are you ok to stand on your own for a minute?"

Beckett nodded, leaning on the wall for support while Sharon crawled through the window. She then helped Beckett get out, and the two walked as quickly as was possible with Beckett's current state towards the woods at the edge of the house. Once secluded in the trees, Beckett saw a clearing just a short ways ahead, in which was a dark SUV. They got inside, and Sharon quickly drove them away.

"What just happened?" Beckett asked her somewhat breathlessly, her body aching from their strenuous exit from the house.

"Someone… somehow… must've known you were still alive and where we were keeping you. Some people showed up with guns and… I'm not really sure what else." Sharon told her, her voice shaky and uncertain, "Are you alright? You should still be having bedrest… not climbing through windows."

"I'm fine," Beckett said, then with a side-glance at the shaky nurse, added, "Are you?"

Sharon chuckled, "I'm as fine as I could be, in this situation." She stated, then at Beckett's somewhat confused look, continued, "I'm not even _with_ the FBI. I worked with them once before, and they decided they could trust me…so they asked if I could help with this. I've never had training. I don't have a clue what to do when freaky masked men with guns raid a house that is supposed to be in top secret location.

"My only instructions for if something happened, were to get you out, and take you here…" She handed Beckett a small piece of paper with a name and address on it.

Beckett's mouth dropped open a little in shock, "You've _got_ to be kidding."

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

_**O.o So…who do you think it is?**_

_**Also…is it just me, or has anybody else had (multiple) random moments of intense, sudden depressedness when we realize Castle isn't on next week…or the week after….or the week after…or the week after…. O.o ….I suppose that's what fanfiction is for? ..And spoiler 'sites. :D**_

_**Ps…although I really truly do adore you alllll…it would keep me super bubbly and ecstatic if you'd all continue to review :D Please and Thank you! :D**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Inkyjelly + freakinamazingreviews + + crazyamazingreaders = speechless.**_

_**And that is all. :D**_

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

_-6 Days Earlier-_

Doctor Greg Peterson left the hospital waiting room with his spirits low. Not only did he have to deliver the news of a death to a family, but the news was just an outright lie. And he didn't understand any of it.

Making his way over to the main desk, he leaned against the counter with a sigh, and began filling out a sheet of paper.

"Rough day?" The secretary behind the desk asked him with a sad smile.

"You could say that again," Doctor Peterson said with a humorless chuckle. The secretary urged him to continue, but he just set down his pen with a sigh, and ended it with, "Too much to say…and, apparently, it's 'confidential'." He rolled his eyes, and after handing her the sheet he had just finished, walked away.

The secretary looked down at the sheet he had handed her to put away in the files- the official death statement of a Katherine Beckett. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, and after a quick glance around her, she folded the paper in half and stashed it in her pocket.

After her shift was over, she bid her goodbyes to her coworkers, and headed over to the elevator she took to the parking garage where her car was. Instead of getting off at the garage's level, however, she went down one extra floor. Greeting her as soon as the elevator doors opened, was a small hallway, at the end of which had a door labeled "Morgue- authorized personnel only"

She slid her ID card through the security device, and snuck through the door quickly after it unlocked itself. Sure enough, once in the cooled room, the compartment labeled _Katherine Beckett_ held a woman that the secretary knew positively was not the woman she had been told to keep an eye out for.

With a frustrated groan, she slid the compartment back forcefully, and swept from the morgue, pulling out her phone and pressing speed dial #1.

"It's not her." She said into the phone after the other line picked up, "Kate Beckett is still alive."

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

_**D: I know I know I know I know NOOOO too short. But I had to get this out of the way….aannndddd I kinda felt like this was just a good spot to call it chapter. O.o …sorry if anybody hates me for it..**_

_**On the bright side, however, :D I finished this early! Soooo…there miiggghhhttt be a slightish chance that I'll be able to get in another chapter tonight….? Or, if not, tomorrow morning at the latest. And, I'll promise you all now, that one will be longer. :)**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Complete. Utter. Happiness. :) YOU ALL ROCK!**_

_**Aaannddd I dedicate the super-fast-updated-ness of this chapter to Mya…who is expecting me to have this posted before 8… although of course, I did feel not so great about such a flippin short chapter…so that too. :)**_

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

"Do you really have _no_ other options?" Beckett asked Sharon desperately as they neared the house.

"I already told you… I just had this one set one instructions. I can't just branch off just because you don't want to stay with your…ex, I presume?"

"Yah," Beckett sighed, leaning against her window as they pulled into the long winding driveway.

"Well, here we are." Sharon told her when they reached the secluded house, "You just wait in here. I'll go let him know we're here."

As soon as she was out of sight, Beckett opened her door and slowly lowered herself out of the car. She smiled slightly when she found she was able to stand quite sturdily without support. She took a few small steps, and found she was already stronger than Sharon had made her seem to be. Confident that she would be ok to walk to the house on her own, she took a normal sized step. Immediately after, however, she regretted it. The larger step caused something inside to pull painfully, and she stumbled, losing her balance and started to topple over. Two large hands caught her, and her body stiffened, immediately knowing who it was behind her. He helped her get back on her feet, and didn't let go until he was sure she was sturdy.

"I can walk by myself, thank you." She snapped at him- then, mentally cursed herself. He didn't do anything wrong, really…although she hated to admit it to herself, she was just stubborn.

"It seems to me that you can't, actually…" He responded, "It's good to see you again, Kate."

"Come on, let's get her inside," Sharon said, coming up from behind them. She grabbed one of Beckett's arms and helped her into the house.

"Have you heard anymore about what happened?" Sharon asked once inside the house and settled in the living room.

"Somewhat," The man told them, "As you already know, we were somehow compromised on both where we were holding Kate, and the fact that she is still alive. We believe it somehow got out through the doctor we told at the hospital."

"What about the agents at the other house?" Beckett asked him, "Are they ok?"

"All but one have some injuries, two are in critical condition. They are expected to recover. The men that invaded were caught, also. They don't seem to have any immediate importance in the conspiracy. Whoever is at the top of this seems to have an unlimited supply of pawns."

Beckett sighed, and moved to stretch slightly, wincing at the pain slightly when she did so.

"Oh, dear," Sharon said, standing up quickly and moving over to Beckett, "Let's just hold off with this conversation for now. You need to rest." She helped her up, and led her over to an empty bedroom.

After Beckett was situated, Sharon left the room. Beckett sat on the edge of the bed for a while, facing away from the door and noise from the outside and staring blankly out the window.

A few minutes later, she heard the door creak open. Her eyes shut and she took a deep breath, waiting for the conversation she had known was coming ever since she had heard where they were going.

"How are you, Kate?" He asked her, after sitting beside her on the bed.

"Fine. Sharon had already told me that she planned on having me start moving around this week… so it really isn't a big deal. I'm patched up pretty well." She told him, keeping her eyes staring straight ahead through the window.

"That's not what I mean, and you know it," He told her with a slight smile, "How are you really?"

She took a deep breath, not sure of what all to tell him. "I miss them…my dad, friends…"

"And him?" He asked lightly. She turned her head to face him, and saw the sincerity in his eyes, "its ok, Kate. I get it."

"No…" She said softly, "You obviously don't… or you wouldn't be helping them keep me locked up here while everyone I love is mourning my death."

He opened his mouth to speak, but at that moment, Sharon appeared at the door, asking for a word.

"We'll talk in the morning?" He asked as he backed towards the door, waiting for her slight nod. "Goodnight, Kate."

"Until tomorrow, Will."

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

_**Heehee… :) I know, I know..I'm guessing the majority of you got who it was like…pretty much right away…but I thought it would be better to keep it somewhat secretive until the end. Aaannddd yes…it's still somewhat short…buuuttt since there were TWO chapters today, if you add them together and pretend it's just one daily one, then it's like one really long one. :D**_

_**I'd also just like to put it out there that I'm no medical major. I'm not a certified nurse. I'm not even a mother with knowledge on how to deal with minor boo-boos. Basically, the only medical knowledge I have is what I've picked up on from watching Greys Anantomy on occasion :/ soo…anything that's quite medically absurd, impossible, or just downright stupid….I apologize. :)**_

_**Until Tomorrow, amazing readers of mine… :)**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**:) Ellloo… I don't have much to say right now…other than you guys are all still freakin amazing :)**_

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

He thought going back to the precinct may help. Give him something to do, keep his mind off things… even to just be around others who he knew were also mourning.

Oh how wrong he was.

The moment he walked in, all he felt was pain.

Ryan and Esposito greeted him with cheerful enough "Hey, Castle's back!" And, "Yo, Castle!" However, the entire floor seemed as though it were colored in black and white.

The Captains office was bare, not yet reoccupied by a new inhabitant. Then, there was her desk. Nothing had changed, with the exception of the missing stacks of paperwork that were normally on it. It seemed as though no one had gotten around to it. Either that, or no one wanted to put themselves through the hardship that would come with clearing it.

He passed by his chair, still sitting in its previous position. His throat tightened slightly as he pictured the many times the two of them sat there together building theory. Memories of her plagued his mind… From the murder board, interrogation room, the coffee machine… Finally meeting the eyes of Ryan and Esposito, he just shook his head softly with an expression of sorrow, and turned and left the building.

He didn't know what to do with himself. At home, he had nothing to do but write…and with that accompanied the overwhelming presence of _her_. He couldn't go back to the precinct…that just hurt far too much. Then, to just wander through the streets alone, allowed his mind to go places he didn't want it to. Allowed it to envision her eyes the last time he saw them open…how fearful those gorgeous green orbs looked. Allowed him to remember the complete hollow feeling he had when the doctor had come out of the operating room to break the horrid news to them all.

Never the less, he settled on walking. Before he mind could get out of hand, however, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

"Castle," He answered, not bothering to check the caller ID. As he listened, his footsteps stopped. His eyes raised, and, to a passerby, he would seemed to have frozen in place completely. After a minute, he spoke again, in a serious, urgent, and decided tone, "Where?"

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

"Kate," Will whispered urgently, shaking her shoulder gently, "Kate, wake up,"

"Hmm? What's wrong," She asked groggily, slowly opening her eyes to see Will standing over her with a flashlight.

"Nothing's wrong…" He said quietly, "Just, get up…"

She pulled off the covers and slid up in the bed, still moving somewhat sluggishly.

"What're we doin'?" She asked with a yawn.

"Come in here," He assisted her out of her room and onto the couch into the living room. Beckett looked behind her and saw Sharon's door still closed, the nurse still fast asleep.

"Will…what's going on?" She asked again, more fully alert now that she'd been on her feet and in decent lighting.

"One of the men who raided your previous safe house…we cracked him." Will smiled, "I mean…he obviously didn't have all the information we need…but we've gained a tremendous lead."

Beckett let out a puff of air. A smile stretched across her face as she pondered what this could mean for her mother's murder.

" That's not all…" Will said, lowering his voice. She couldn't help but notice he looked somewhat mischievous, "As I'm sure you've already realized…I've neglected to wake Sharon…. You see, I was thinking about what you said before about partaking in this…death faking…"

Beckett narrowed her eyes slightly at him, and opened her mouth to speak, but Will just held a hand up to stop her.

"It's one AM… If we were to leave now, and make just one quick visit, we'd be able to be back before Sharon awoke."

"Will… what are you saying?" She asked him quietly, her eyes glowing with excitement.

"Come on," He said, cocking his head towards the door. He stood up, helping her into a jacket, and led her out to the car.

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

_**Shortish again… O.o So sorry :/ **_

_**Annndddd I have a question for everyone…. How much would you all despise me if I just sorta…skirted around the whole answer to the conspiracy thing in the story…? Cuz I've been doin some thinkin about how that would be resolved in this story…and I just keep coming up to frustrating dead ends… Soooo if you'd all just spare a minute maybe to let me know if that is…completely necessary… :) **_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Sittin out a tornado in the basement…seems like a good time to write, dontcha think? :)**_

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

He knew that, logically, this could be a very horrible idea. There was a very good possibility that this was just a trap… and one that he would have to be completely idiotic to fall into.

Yet, here he was. In a dark warehouse, lighted only by the moon shining through the door he came in through.

He'd received a call, exactly 4 hours ago. He had frozen in place when the caller introduced himself as Will Sorenson, saying that he'd like to meet with him as soon as possible… and that it was about Kate.

6 hours later, he was right where he was told to meet him. After about 10 minutes of waiting, he left the large clearing in the middle of the building to lean against one of the walls.

Maybe this wasn't a dangerous trap. Maybe, it was just a scam. In the few days that the two of them had been in contact with each other, it hadn't been any secret that Will didn't like him. Maybe, he'd heard about Kate's death, and become angry that no one had told him.

Breaking his thoughts, he heard a door creak open . He glanced up, seeing Will walking into the warehouse slowly, a businesslike expression on his face.

"Why did you bring me here?" Castle asked him.

"Sit down, Castle." Will told him, pulling two chairs off of a stack that was piled against the wall. Castle approached him slowly, sitting down in the chair across from him.

"You said you had something to tell me about Kate?" He said, ignoring the tightening in his throat when he said her name.

"Yes," Will said, "However, first I have to be sure that you understand… this is _completely_ confidential… and needs to stay that way." At Castle's nod, he continued, "The night that she was shot,-"

A shrill ringing interrupted him. After pulling out the phone and glancing at the caller ID, Will groaned, "I'm sorry…I have to take this." He flipped the phone open and stood up, walking away from Castle, "Why, hello Sharon, I didn't expect you to awake until morning," He spoke into the phone, before leaving the warehouse momentarily to finish his call.

While waiting, Castle stood from his chair, wandering about the warehouse. It was mostly empty, with the exception of a few chairs stacked against the walls, and various boards and cans of paint piled in random places. Scattered doors leading to small closets and the occasional office littered the walls. While walking past one of the rare windows in the building, Castle caught his reflection, and couldn't help but wince. He hadn't really gotten around to caring much- at all- about his looks or, for that matter, hygiene, since her funeral. He had numerous dark bags under his eyes, and his skin seemed sickingly pale. His eyes just seemed…empty. No feeling…even the color seemed to have somewhat faded.

He looked away, continuing his exploration of the warehouse. The next door he looked in was an office. A quick glance around showed a couple filing cabinets, a desk with a spinning chair. The chair, however, was occupied. The dark figure in it faced away from the door, tapping its fingers impatiently on the desk.

He gasped, quickly covering his mouth as he tried to shut the door as quietly as possible. The figure, however, heard. It bolted up, spinning around to face him.

He froze completely. Even his heart seemed to pause for far too long to be considered normal. She seemed to mirror him completely. In a moment, however, his expression changed from blank confusion, to one of fear, desperation, worry, _pain_.

"Oh, God…" He half whispered, "This can't be happened…" He backed away from the door quickly, feeling his heartbeat hammer against his chest.

"Castle!" She called after him, following him into the warehouse.

"No! No…please," He spoke quietly, but she still caught it, as he quickly walked across the wide open space, "This isn't real…" He repeated it to himself a couple of times, eventually coming to a stop almost at the opposite end of the warehouse. He closed his eyes and held his breath. It seemed to have stopped.

"…Rick?" She said quietly, coming up beside him and gently putting a hand on him arm. He let out a shuddering breath, seeming to almost be smiling incredulously, but kept his eyes closed and shook his head a few times. "Open your eyes," She told him softly, moving so she was standing directly in front of him.

His eyes cracked open, and she saw how tired he looked… saw how broken he looked. His eyes showed traces of being bloodshot, and she could see them starting to tear up slightly. She felt her own eyes start to prickle as she looked at him and smiled.

He, however, didn't smile back. He looked terrified, and like he was being tortured.

"This isn't real…" He said, his voice tight and wavering slightly, "This can't be real.

"Castle…" She said, putting one hand on his face to get him to look at her, "Rick… It is real. I'm here. I'm alive."

His eyes narrowed slightly with unbelieving suspicion. Looking in his eyes, she could tell he didn't believe it…that he thought it was too good to be true. A second later, however, he took a step forward, wrapping his arms around her, and pulling her into a bone crushing hug. She immediately wrapped her arms around him also, burying her face into and sighing happily as she felt more tears gather behind her eyelids.

He took a deep shuddering breath, and she felt something warm and moist wet the top of her head. Smiling slightly, she tightened her grip around him a little bit more and allowed her own tears leak out of her eyes.

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

_**:DD ..yess? The moment we've all been waiting for?**_

_**Nooowwwwww I need eevvveerrryyyboodyyyyss input here! Theres over 150 of you with this story on alert (and I love you all dearly) buuuuttt I want as many people possible to give me their input on what they think :) cuuzzz quite honestly, I'm pretty darn nervous about posting this…cuz I've gotten God knows how many reviews saying how excited people were for the reunionitation of Castle and Beckett…and saying like omg…I don't know how you're gonna do it! Sooo I really do hope I lived up to all your expectations… Sooo let me know! Love it? Like it? Ehh it? …hate it? O.o hopefully it was good enough. **_

_**There'll be more of convoo between the twoo next chapter, soo NO FEAR! :D**_

_**Annddd now I'm off! :)**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**O.o …Holy crap. Have I told you all how amazing you are yet?**_

_**PS…I'm sorry if any of you are waiting anxiously and nervously for this chapter…cuz normally I post like…4 hours ago. Bbuuuttt quite frankly…blame my geometrty teacher. :)**_

_**Aannddd I'm unbelievably glad you all liked my reunitation of Castle and Beckett…I hope this chapter also lives up to expectations. :)**_

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

Reentering the warehouse, Will groaned. It had seemed that the two had somehow found each other before he'd had the chance to explain the situation to Castle. And, although in their eyes, the sooner the better, he knew that this whole meeting would've gone over better if he'd gotten all the information through first.

Because, as he suspected, and by the looks of them now, they weren't going to want to separate for long enough for him to get a few words in.

Across the warehouse, the two still clung to each other. Eventually, heartbeats slowed, breaths evened out, tears stopped falling. Eventually, minds came back to reality. One, the reality of the fact that they hadn't long together…the fact that in their short span of the early morning, they still had the long conversation coming that was the explanation. The other, the reality that he was most likely crazy…the reality that he'd go home with whatever healing his wounds had done ripped wide open…the reality that he wouldn't be able to tell anybody of this without the risk of hospitalization.

Eventually, they relaxed their grips on one another, pulling apart enough to look in to the others eyes.

"Why is this happening?" He sighed softly, yet a small smile braced his face.

"I suppose you do deserve a bit of an explanation…" She looked away for a moment, seeing that Will had reentered the building, and was patiently waiting at the opposite end for them to finish. She glanced back at Castle. His gaze hadn't moved…still staring at her intently, as if she was going to disappear in a moment. "Come on," She said, pulling herself out of his arms completely and grabbing his hand as she led them across the warehouse.

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

"This is…I can't…" He stared down at the floor, his hand still gripping Beckett's tightly, "I don't even know what to think."

"I'll leave you two alone for a while…" Will said, standing up and starting away from the two, "Oh, but Beckett," He said, turning back for a moment, "Remember, we only have a little over an hour before dawn, so make it quick."

After he was gone, the two turned back to each other.

"How are you doing?" He asked her, glancing down at the spot where the bullet had entered.

"Fine," She told him with a grin, "…And you?"

Although still smiling, he let out a frustrated sigh, "Well, I've been better. These last few weeks have been hell."

"I'm sorry…" She said, all traces of her previous smile gone. They were silent for a moment. Castle looked up at her, staring deep in her eyes, looking for something.

"Just the thought of never being able to see you again…to never get to see…" He trailed off, looking down at the ground. When he looked back up at her, he stared deep in her eyes, seeming to be looking for something. "Did you…did you hear…?"

She tore her eyes away from his intense gaze. She'd really been hoping he'd let that slide…at least until she'd decided about what she wanted to do about it. Plastering on her poker face, she looked back at him, almost losing it when she saw the emotion in his eyes.

"Heard what?"

He sighed, looking away, "Nothing,"

…

What seemed like just a few minutes later, Will came back into the warehouse.

"It's going to be light soon…" He told them, "We've got to get you back to the house before then."

"When will I get to see you again?" Castle asked, looking back at Beckett.

"Ask him," She said with a sad shrug, "He's making all the calls right now."

"You have to understand that just this meeting is already unbelievably risky. I'm not sure when it'll be safe for us to take her out of the house again." Will told him, "But just remember, this has to stay under wraps. Nobody can know. Not your family, anybody at the precinct… Nobody."

Castle nodded curtly, and turned back to Beckett, "Hopefully it won't be too long," With a slight smile, he hugged her again. A part of his mind still had convinced that this was all a dream, and that if he were going to have to deal with the pain anyway, he'd rather have the dream be as great as it could while it lasted.

"Come on, Kate," Will broke the two apart, leading her away from Castle and to the door. Just before the two left, she turned around once more to wave goodbye, then disappeared out the door, leaving Castle wondering how he'd manage to appear the same distraught person he left his loft, when all he felt like doing now was dancing.

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

_**Soo? Sorry…this chapter was kinda slow… The next one should be more exciting :)) I promise(ish). **_

_**Allssoooo who else is feeling the hole? Ugghhh Mondays around now without Castle normally hurts…but to know that we'll be feeling this for 4 freakin months? NOOOOO! D: Sigh. **_

…_**review? **_


	9. Chapter 9

_**What is it about a bad day that just makes you want to write? And the fact that I can come home to find that STILL MORE people are adding this to their story alerts. You all seriously amaze me :) **_

_**Also…I don't know if all of you have already read the new story Shattered by JillianCasey…but I very much recommend it :) It's like parallel story line to this…in one chapter…annddd as much as it pains me to say it…it's about a bajillion times better :) So, again, I very much recommend it :) allthouughhh…please don't ditch this story… because I rely on you all veerrryyy much for my motivation :D**_

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

Two weeks had gone by.

They hadn't seen each other again. Just the thought, however, that they knew that the other was ok, was enough.

Beckett was able to read his books again without the nagging feeling of guilt and helplessness. Castle kept himself secluded in his office, careful to keep the sudden urges to smile like an idiot at bay. Plus, he could see the worry subsiding from his daughter and mother due to the fact that he was once again being productive in his writing.

Feelings of dread, however, weren't unfamiliar in either.

Beckett couldn't stop thinking of the next time she'd be able to see him. It seemed as though a small part of her was empty without her plucky sidekick with her. Then, there was the thought that when they did see each other again, if she'd be able to confront him about…it…quite yet. Yes, she had heard it. And, _yes_, she was quite certain she could truthfully return the words. She just wasn't ready yet. The thought of any serious relationship at this point was overwhelming…then, the thought of a relationship with him? Although thrilling and, admittedly, desirable, she didn't think she was ready for that.

Castle couldn't help but wonder if everything was going ok. They'd told him that something had already gone once…and they'd had a narrow escape. So, it wasn't out of question that they could still be in danger. And, if the disastrous did happen, how quickly would he be told of it? It made him shudder to have to think that she could still be in danger, and he couldn't even be there with her.

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

Two weeks had gone by, and there had been no change.

The small safehouse she was being kept in was just as bland and uneventful as ever. The dull ache in her chest whenever she moved or stretched the wrong way still caused her to recoil in pain. Of course, progress was being made on the case. She wasn't let in on any of it, though. Sharon insisted that too much stress could still cause her recovery to backtrack.

So she sat. Waited. Slept. Daydreamed…

14 days had passed, and nothing had gone wrong.

On the 15th day, however, it all seemed to crash around them.

She had just opened her window, intending on getting some fresh air and getting to hear something other than official talk from Will or medical talk from Sharon. Leaning on the windowsill and breathing in the air, she barely caught the quick flash of black from behind the trees.

She skirted across the room to the door. Just a moment before she opened the door, however, shots rang out. A quick glance out the door confirmed what she feared- the unsuspecting bodies of both Will and Sharon sprawled across the floor, blood spewing from their chests. She silently shut the door, cringing as she heard footsteps clambering around outside, doors opening and closing as the men searched.

Beckett snatched the spare pair of keys and gun off of the dresser beside her bed. "Just in case," Will had told her when he gave them to her.

It only took her a second to smash the screen out of the window. Only a second more to shoot down the single guard standing outside the house. It seemed as though it'd only been a minute total before the tires of the SUV screeched to life as she sped away, dirt being thrown up behind her.

Once out on the main road, she glanced behind her. No one was following…for now. Multiple sharp turns, multiple accelerations, and dirty looks from cars she cut off later, she came across the city.

Where to go? The FBI was out, whoever had raided the house would've already called their contacts- and they would've already been watching any possible places she could run to. Not the precinct, either. If they weren't watching it, she'd still be treated like a psychotic ghost if she ran in telling tales of hit men after her.

Would they know to watch Castle? No…even if they weren't staking out his loft, she couldn't put his family in danger. She couldn't even comprehend letting something happen to them because she sought refuge there. She was sure that he'd gladly sacrifice his safety for her…just send Alexis and Martha to his Hamptons house or something.

Then, it clicked. A quick, squealing U-turn and many angry cab drivers honks later, and she was off. Although now the most ideal location, it would do…and she was almost positive she'd be of there until she could figure more out.

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

3 hours later, and she had found it. About half way there, she'd become worried that it'd be harder to find. He'd given her its address, however, last summer when he'd invited her to come. And, once in the city, it'd been surprisingly self explanatory how to get there.

A car was in the driveway. A caretaker, she assumed. She only hoped they'd know of her.

Stepping out of the car, she quickly walked up towards the front door, taking little time in admiring the house (although it was spectacular).

She knocked but once on the door before letting herself inside. A light in the kitchen was on. With one hand on her gun, she neared it cautiously. A figure stepped out into the open. She jumped slightly at the man in front of her.

"Beckett?" He exclaimed incredulously.

"Damn it, Castle! What're you doing here?"

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

_**Well…that would be my feeble attempt at a cliffhanger-ish ending.. :) I do hope it tis'nt too horrible :D**_

_**Haha…also… I was TTHHIIISSSS close to accidentally or intentionally putting a reference in here to my other fic on here, Independence Day…but I figured that'd just get to be really confusing to people that didn't read that and you'd all be unhappy with me :)**_

_**Happy Tuesday! :D**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**I'm. So. Sorry. O.o AH! I feel sooooo freakin bad for not updating in so long :'( I wont rant now…in case you all just want to get to the long awaited reading. **_

_**In case anyone forgot (I would've…) Beckett just showed up at Castles beach house after being sent arunning AGAIN from a safehouse….**_

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

"_Damn it, Castle!" What're you doing here?"_

"What am I…I hardly think that question is acceptable. In case you weren't aware, this is my beach house… also, I'm not the one here that is currently deceased." He responded, raising an eyebrow at her pointedly.

With a groan, she backtracked to the front door again, checking around for any suspicious vehicles parked outside the house.

"So… should I assume that you're alive now, or is there something else going on here?"

"I think you could answer that for yourself…" She said, turning back around to face him with a raised eyebrow, "If everything was going as according to plan, do you really think I'd drive hours out here, without calling you, just with the hope that the off chance would have it that you'd be here and we could spend a lovely little weekend together on the beach before I officially became 'alive' again?"

"Well…yes?"

With a sigh and a shake of her head, Beckett let the subject drop.

"Can I borrow your phone?" She asked him, "I really need to get hold of the FBI and let them in on what all just happened… and I haven't had access to a phone since I left the house earlier today."

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, handing it over to her, and allowing her to go into the other room to talk.

…

When she emerged a few minutes later, he sat in the kitchen, looking at her with a sorrowful expression.

"I should've known you'd be listening in…" She said with a sad half smile at him.

"I'm sorry, Kate… I know you cared about him,"

"It's…I'm fine." She turned away from him, falling into a chair across from him. They sat in silence for a moment until she spoke again, "They're sending a protective detail from a local office to keep watch on the house until they can get someone more permanent to take me to another safehouse."

"Another? When is this going to end?" He asked with an exasperated sigh.

"They're making progress," She told him with an encouraging smile, "Before…Well, before I got here, Will told me that the cracked one of the guys who raided the first house I was in. He said it was a big lead…"

Castle nodded, going silent again.

"You're hungry," Castle stated after Beckett's stomached growled, much to her dismay. "Come on, there's an awesome little pizza place just a few minutes away that delivers."

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

Approximately 15 minutes later, the two sat at the table, pizza in hand, with cheese burning the roofs of their mouths.

"So," Beckett started after a few moments of chewing, "How've you been holding up? I heard your partner passed away…" She smiled lightly at him.

"Well, you know how it goes, you lose someone before everything's been said that needs to have been said…things that'll never be known…" The corners of his lips were turned up and the familiar playful twinkle was in his eyes, but between the words he spoke and the serious look deep in his eyes behind the twinkle, she felt her stomach turn slightly.

"Oh yeah? And what was that?" She mentally cursed herself. She knew where this was going… hadn't she made a deal with herself to pretend she'd never heard it?"

"Well, technically it wasn't all left unsaid…but apparently she didn't register it before she…left." His eyebrow arched upward slightly as his eyes bore into hers.

It took all she had to tear eyes away from his intense gaze. She stared blankly out the window to her side, hoping that the subject would drop.

"Beckett," He started, "Kate…you know, I find it almost insulting that you think you can still hide things like this from me… I know you a lot better than you give me credit for." He was smiling, but she could tell he was being completely serious, "You heard."

It wasn't a question. He knew that he had heard… her not so well thought out plan had failed. And, goodness, she wasn't ready to deal with it yet. Heck, for all technical purposes, she was _dead._ She glanced over at him again, making eye contact. _Big mistake. _The intense, burning emotion in them was almost too much to bear."

"It's alright," He said, the raw emotion in his expression breaking slightly, "I get it."

No, he didn't get it. Why couldn't he just understand that she just _couldn't_ say it? _I love you too. I love you. I love Rick Castle. _It was so easy to say in her head. She could scream it through her thoughts with no trace, no hint of doubt. Why couldn't she just form the words to say out loud?

"It's getting late. I'm going to head up to bed. The first room on the left is open…there's towels and such in the bathroom closet. You should have everything you need." With that, he stood up and headed towards the staircase. Just before disappearing onto the second floor, he turned around once and offered her a smile.

What he didn't seem to realize, however, is that she, also, knew him better than he gave her credit for. She could tell only too easily how fake his smile was, how much pain he was hiding behind that faux smile.

She hopped out of her chair quickly, scurrying across the floor towards the staircase. Before she had the chance to follow after him, however, a frantic knocking came from the front door. A moment later, the sound of a door crashing in filled the silent house. A stout man in a Hamptons police uniform ran into the room where she stood.

"Miss Beckett," He panted, sounding breathless and panicked, "We must leave. Now."

"What? Why?" She narrowed her eyes at him. A movement in the corner of her eye revealed Castle standing at the top of the staircase, wide eyed and a look of utmost confusion and worry on his face.

"No time for questions," The man told her, grabbing her hand and running her through the back door of the beach house. A quick glance behind them showed Castle following closely behind them. The threesome silently ran down the beach a ways, before cutting through the yard of a seemingly random house. An unmarked police car sat stalled in the driveway, an another anxious looking officer sitting in the driver's seat. The group piled into the car, and with a squeal of tires, they took off in the opposite direction of the Castle beach house.

On the street behind them, a small group of men dressed in black watched the car race away, satisfied smiles bracing their faces as they watched their plan fall into play.

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

_**Aaaannndddd there we go! :)**_

_**Again…I'M SO SORRY! I honestly..ugh. I feel bad :( I'd gotten so many happy reviews and stuff with how quick I updated…and then I went on this crazy hiatus. :((( I do have excuses…finals…work…family stuff…end of school year parties…although I'm sure you all really don't care for my meager little excuses. O.o**_

_**Also..I want to warn you that although it kills me, I won't be able to do as speedy of updates from now on. I'm starting my first job ever (EEE!) tomorrow..aannndddd what with summer activities and such goin on I'm pretty busy. I'll try my hardest…..I just wouldn't expect as regular and daily of updates as they had previously been.**_

_**I really am sorry for the long unannounced break :((( I promise I have not given up on this story… and I would love it to death if you all still stuck with it :)**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Short chapter…just a fair warning… :)**_

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

Donald Watson was sick to his stomach. At any given moment, he felt as though he would he would vomit right on the dashboard of his partner's police car.

The two had been called to do a protective detail on a large, fancy beach house on one of the most prestigious beaches of the Hamptons. He didn't even want to know what this rich person had gotten themselves into that caused the need for not one but two cops keeping watch outside their house. It wasn't long before a single car pulled up across the street of him. Immediately noticing the missing license plates, Donald pulled out his walkie-talkie quickly, intending to send a quick shout out to his partner, down the street a way.

He didn't have time to say much however. Two men dressed in black got out of the car, glancing around them suspiciously before taking off for the side of the house, hands going to their belts where guns were holstered. Immediately, Donald jumped out of the car, running up to the front door of the house.

He was feeling quite proud of himself when he got the couple to his partner's car safely. From what he could see, they weren't being closely followed, either. In his rush of adrenaline, it took him a full three or four miles down the road before he turned to talk to his partner.

Only Officer John Hart was not the man sitting beside him. Whoever the stranger was took notice of Donald finally seeing him. With a sly, calm smile and a pointed look, he lightly patted the gun on his fake police belt and held his hand out expectantly.

"Could I borrow your phone? I threw mine in the trunk with the rest of the stuff." The man spoke. Donald almost externally cringed, but managed to hold it in. He cautiously handed over the phone, listening intently as he stared out the opposite window.

"Hey, this is Officer Hart. We've got our persons in the back-yah, some creeps showed up and were acting pretty suspicious-Sure thing…we'll be there in 15."

The man hung up the phone, handing it back to Donald without another word. A glance in the review mirror showed him that the two in the backseat looking somewhat shaken, but not suspicious or uncomfortable. He let out a content sigh. Yes, everything was going according to plan.

…ooo…ooo…ooo…

_**Yahh I know I know..rreeaaallllyyyy short…but I felt the need to end it. :) I'll try reeeaaallllllyyy hard to update soon :D**_

_**Good news for you readers, though! Apparently, I've been condemned to the life of a cripple for the rest of the summer…soooo you know what that meeaannsss…lots of sitting around bored! O.o Sucks majorly for me…but updates ranging closer together than like once a week will probably happen! Not immediately, I'm sorry to say :( I babysit all day Monday-Wednesday…but…that's about it. **_

_**Also…Although all ecstatic with the feeling of reviews again after this long hiatus I took…I checked my story stats and it went down like…from 700 to 350… O.O aanndddd in case anybody reading this doesn't right…that's a major punch to the gut of the motivation gland of a writer. So plleeaassseeee help me feel better…Review?**_


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